To write or not to write

♦ March 31, 2018 ♦ Leave a comment

Time…

Funny thing time isn’t it, when you’re waiting for something to start or even to finish it can seem to go on forever but then other times you look back and think wow where has that time gone! It’s been almost 6 months since I last wrote, I have thought a few times shall I write a new blog but then the questions what do I still have to write about? Is this even helping anyone? Will people be thinking here she goes again? Maybe the answer to the last is yes but then I’m not forcing anyone to read it and do you know what it’s somewhat therapeutic so here I am.

More changes…

After 13 years I’m back at work full time I thought this might be a little challenging and I would miss my ‘day off’ but actually it’s not been so bad I’m getting back into it. Then we adopted a dog! Arthur has been with us 3 weeks so far I have to admit I found it quite challenging in the first couple of weeks, it felt that we have brought a toddler into the house and I just didn’t know if I had the energy to deal with it. That said I would have never been up at 6.30am walking for 20 minutes before workor going out after my tea, there is something quite therapeutic about just walking clearing your head setting you up for the day or evening getting rid of what’s been bothering you.

Look after yourself…

It it quite amazing sometimes how little time we spend looking after ourselves and putting ourselves first, I think especially when you have a family you are constantly thinking about having life in order and running things smoothly that it’s easy to overlook yourself, but then how can we expect to function properly if we don’t take some time to see a doctor or exercise or do a hobby or just sit and have a quiet cuppa, it’s something I have witnessed quite a bit recently, and it really can have a massive effect on people’s health physical and mental. It is hard sometimes to just take a step back or slow down a bit but even just putting one change in place, a regular slot of 15 minutes even to do something you choose to do can make a huge difference.

Making my own decisions…

It’s funny how after all this time I still get these little revelations with regards to how my brain thinks, if there’s been an outing or event and I’ve really not been feeling up for it the natural response for me is to blame the anxiety it must be that causing me not to be looking forward to it but you know what, maybe I just actually don’t fancy doing it! I’m getting older (40 next year!!!) and tastes change, my idea of a good night out isn’t the same as it once was and that’s ok, it is ok to make that decision not to go and I don’t have to feel guilty about it, this bit may take some work and I may come across as boring or mardy and I hate to think I’ve upset anyone but I feel like I need to start doing things for me.

The same applies if I do feel like it will cause me anxiety, at that point I can balance it up, how much is it something I want to do and how much anxiety will it cause me, it is ok to just say you know what I’m just not up for that. This one could be more tricky as I know it’s hard for others to understand why one outing can cause me issue and one last month didn’t, there is usually some sort of explanation, the venue, having a base, the people I’m with but sometimes I just don’t really know why.

Coming up…

Things have continued on a fairly quiet uneventful track recently which like I said in my previous post is nice to have some down time but it also just makes me slightly wary when I do have things coming up, but all I can do is put a plan in place and go with it.

By far the biggest challenge I have in the relative near future is a cruise in just over a years time, since booking this last year I have gone through many periods of thinking what the hell was I thinking, what on earth made me think I could tackle that?! I’m not sure what has shifted in recent weeks but I am definitely feeling a lot calmer about it at the moment, I know I will find it hard when the time is nearer but this is something I really want to, a wonderful once in a lifetime experience with my husband and kids and parents. Just knowing my husband is there to support me through is a huge help. I think knowing once I get the flight done I will have the ship as a base is actually a really good thingwe can go explore but I will always have a place to go back to.

For now I’m looking forward to the summer, hopefully warmer drier walks with the dog, and good times with family and friends

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